"An opportunity for complaint that is seldom missed."
I found this on Urban Dictionary as a definition for "pet peeve". As far as the popularity of this definition... well, it got twice as many thumbs down as it did thumbs up, whereas the more traditional definition (as found in your Webster or Wiki) got lots and lots of approvals.
Voters have missed the point entirely, because THIS definition says something that the others don't.
It is an opportunity for complaint.
Usually, when someone uses the word opportunity, it is because there is a choice involved. In this case, or in any case of an annoyance or greivance, a choice is most certainly involved.
Put it this way. There is no situation that you do not choose to be in. I'm not really including tragedy or natural disaster, though even in those cases a choice was made at some point to physically be in whatever space you are occupying as tragedy strikes. Did I consciously choose to be stuck in Hurricane Sandy when it struck the east coast? No, not really. But I did choose to be where I was at the time I was there.
Well, pet peeves are tragedies in their own little way - overly dramatic reactions to the tedious story line of daily life.
A little over a month ago, around Christmas time, I was on my way to Tai Chi class when some guy cut me off on the freeway going about 65 miles per hour, without ever even seeing me. I mean, this person was completely and utterly oblivious to the fact that my car and I even existed at all. The instinct for self preservation would say that the most sensible thing to react to in this situation is the possibility that I could have become a highway hotcake. In fact, I was actually yelling at the car while gesturing rapidly in an unsavory but creative manner, much of which involved the f-word and my middle finger. But was I yelling at the guy because he almost ran me off the road? No. Was I angry because he made me late to my Tai Chi class because I missed my exit and had to reroute, especially since it was the one day I decided to try showing up on time? A little. What, then, was I mad enough about that I had to invent new and interesting sign language to express?
I'll tell you what. The guy had a pair of stuffed reindeer antlers suction-cupped to the sides of his car.
Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays. Christmas is extremely fun to me. I enjoy hot cocoa and caroling, I would never turn down Christmas cookies or listening to Karen Carpenter, and if an elf came up to me and told me he came straight from Santa's workshop, I would probably give him a hug and a candy cane before shooing him along on his merry little way. But decorating a mini van? That is just about one of the stupidest things you could possibly do. First of all, your mini van never was cool. Why would you think that putting antlers and a red puffy nose on the grill would make it cooler? Is this someone's idea of a joke of what it means to be festive, that they feel the need to put these tacky and insanely distracting ornaments on the exterior of their vehicles for the world to see? It is completely indecent. The guy was quite obviously a complete and total tool. Plus, he tried to hit me with his freaking reindeer mini van. I mean, where do these people come from, the Island of Misfit SUVs?!
Life, in that moment, handed me an amazing opportunity for complaint. I was secretly handed another opportunity too, though it is one that was really hard to see. Our pet peeves are choices. There is no situation that you choose not to be in, and that includes the things that we choose to, sometimes irrationally, get angry about. I know that there was an impetus for anger about almost being pummeled by a fake reindeer rack. But who's time am I wasting by hating antlers forever, just on principle? Why should I continue to rehash that moment, living it again and again every time I am reminded of it, as though it was some weird extension of my own self? Do I really want to be... annoyed for the rest of my life?
I actually did make a New Year's decision this year. I didn't post about it in the Day 1 topic because I really just wanted to talk about nakedness (cam you blame me?). As Karen Carpenter once said, "Not enough people in this world are happy." So this is what I have decided.
This year is my year to shine, and in order to shine abundantly, I am letting go of old dusty habits and outdated anger. I simply do not need them anymore. I am formally offering the opportunities that are seldom missed to the contenders who are most deserving. I always have time to make a choice, and that means I have time to make the right choices.
So, goodbye pet peeves. I can't say it was always nice having you around, anyway.
... though I will say, I just might miss those antlers.
♥ Dani
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